How to Forgive Yourself For Cheating
You did it, you really messed up and you cheated on your husband or wife. It really doesn’t matter right now why it happened, what matters now is where you go from here.
If you do love your spouse and want to try to make things right in your marriage there are three things that you will have to deal with. Gaining forgiveness from your spouse, regaining their trust and figuring out how to forgive yourself for cheating. All of these will take time to accomplish, but can be done if you and your spouse are serious about saving your marriage.
Gaining Forgiveness From Your Spouse
Gaining forgiveness from your spouse will be the first hurdle you have to cross. Don’t make excuses, try to lay blame or try to rationalize what you have done. Instead, go to your spouse and admit that you made a huge mistake in judgement, tell them that you are truly sorry for what you have done, and ask for their forgiveness.
Now, don’t expect that forgiveness to come quickly or easily. Your spouse may even tell you that they aren’t sure whether they can forgive you or not. The important thing at this point is that you apologized and asked to be forgiven.
Regaining their trust is the next step and goes hand in hand with your spouse being able to forgive you. Cheating on your spouse is the ultimate betrayal of trust and in order for your spouse to forgive you and trust you again, you will need to be totally honest in everything you say and do.
Answer every question they ask, even if they ask the same questions over and over. If the question is why, don’t make excuses; you messed up and you need to take total responsibility for what happened.
You will need to be extra careful that you don’t do or say anything that will cause more distrust. When you say you will do something, do it. The only way you will be able to regain your spouses trust is by consistently being open and honest.
Be aware that it will take quite some time for your spouse to be able to totally trust you again and patience will be necessary.
Forgiving Yourself For Cheating
Now, the next question is how to forgive yourself for cheating. This can sometimes be more difficult than getting forgiveness from your spouse.
When you see the hurt you have caused your spouse you feel even worse and beat yourself up over and over again. Beating yourself up doesn’t change what has happened, it only makes you feel bad and doesn’t help the situation at all.
Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean that you don’t feel badly about what you did or that your weren’t responsible for what you did, it means that you acknowledge that you made a huge mistake and you promise yourself you will never do it again.
If you are truly sorry for what you have done, making amends with your spouse and making sure that you never again hurt your spouse in this way will also help you to forgive yourself.
Cheating on a spouse is something that happens all to frequently. For some couples cheating ends the marriage while others begin the long road to saving the marriage. Only the two of you can make the decision as to whether you want to try to salvage your relationship.
Many couples have successfully restored the love and trust in their marriage after one of the spouses cheated. To get the help you need to begin healing your marriage today, click here now.