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Fix My Marriage

The unanswered question for so many couples in unhappy marriages is “how to fix my marriage?” Is this question on your mind as well? You may have entered into the marriage with high hopes for a great future together but, that great future doesn’t seem to be happening.

Instead of happiness has your marriage now become a relationship that goes from being almost alright one day to downright terrible the next? No matter how bad the bad days are, the fact that you are looking for ways to fix what is broken in the marriage is a good sign.

One of the most difficult things for most people to do is admit that their marriage is on shaky ground. Because it’s so hard to do and because no one wants to be a failure, many people instead will deny there are problems right up until the bitter end.

Denying the problems won’t make them disappear and there is no marriage rescue fairy that will swoop in one day and make everything right again. The cold, hard reality is that if you want to fix what’s broken in your marriage, you will have to change what you have been doing up to this point in time. After all, what you’ve been doing is obviously not working for you. It will be somewhat more difficult if only one of you are interested in making changes in your marriage, however it’s not impossible.

So how can you fix you marriage?

If the two of you are prepared to make the necessary changes, it doesn’t matter how far south the relationship has sunk. If you were ever truly in love, there will be no doubt. Real love can be shaken, but it won’t be broken.

  • The first thing you must do is openly admit to each other that the relationship as it exists is not working. Unless the problems in you marriage are from something obvious like one of you having an affair, try to determine exactly what went wrong and why. Some good possibilities are unmet needs, taking each other for granted, lack of communication and not making time for each other.
  • Many times one of the partners in a marriage will complain that their needs aren’t being met when in reality they have never shared those needs with their spouse. It’s real difficult for someone to meet your needs without knowing what they are. Share with your spouse exactly what it is that you need from them. This way there are no doubts and your needs are way more likely to be met.
  • If you are guilty of taking your spouse for granted, you need to stop immediately. Everyone likes to be appreciated and the fact that you are married does not negate that. Thank your spouse for the things they do, showing a little appreciation is easy and benefits the both of you.
  • It’s very possible that communication problems have played a part if either of you have unmet needs or one or both of you have taken the other for granted. That is why communication is so very important, so many other problems are created when you don’t share your thoughts and feelings with your spouse. If you have tried sharing and been met with disapproval or been ignored, it is vital to the marriage that the two of you learn to communicate effectively.
  • Not making time for each other is a huge problem for many couples. With the busy lives most of us lead it’s so easy to let everything else come before your spouse and your marriage. Do what ever you have to do to make time for each other, schedule it if that’s what it takes. Time spent alone together strengthens the bond between you and allows you to grow closer. If you don’t make the effort to make sure that you spend time alone together, you will slowly drift apart.

Almost any problem in a marriage can be fixed. If you have struggled to try to overcome your marriage problems on your own it may be time to reach out for help.

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